MOOD

Mood #2

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Saturday, May 20, 2017

Letting Go

I have a hard time letting go. I am a grudge holder and it’s quite terrible to be honest. They say that time heals all wounds, but I am frequently skeptical. Big or small of a wound, I always remember. I tend to  have that grudge at the back of my mind regardless of if I have forgiven you or pretended to let go. Since my early years, I have been like this. I mean, do people really change? When they hurt you once, don’t you think that just makes it more likely that they will hurt you again?

It is something I need to work on. I know this. My mother always says to let go because it only weakens the person holding on. It comes easy to her, maybe because of her sweet and lovable soul or because she believes this is what God wants. I know she is right, but some part of me just can’t agree with it.

Holding grudges affects me in so many ways. I lose sleep, i continuously play the situation over and over trying to understand it, it puts me in an awful mood and it affects relationships. I pick my battles of course and don’t always hold a grudge, but when I do, it is usually for the long run…..

What is your take on this? Do you hold grudges? If so, when is the time to let go?

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6 thoughts on “Mood #2

  1. I used to. The time to let go is when it starts affecting your ability to enjoy whatever you are doing, I think. Reason it out, but then let it go. People who make you feel badly about yourself or just badly in general are hardly worth it, in my opinion (since you asked). ❥

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for sharing. True. I think once the individual is really not worth the bother (as hard as it may be to realize lthat), then you need to make that decision. Especially if they
      continuously make you want to hold a grudge, domino effect and all.

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  2. I have a terrible tendency to hold grudges. It’s part of the mixed blessing of having a really good memory. The plus side is that I also remember pretty much every kind deed anyone ever did for me (that I knew about, anyway). So one way of dealing with the bad memory is to focus on the good. Sounds simple, but it works.

    Also, as I told a friend who was trying hard to forgive someone who hurt her and her parents, think of the hurt as a wound. Forgiveness might take time, so there is no problem with keeping the wound bandaged (this may mean avoiding the hurtful person for a time, defensively but not out of malice). I have found time can work wonders for grudges, but sometimes it takes YEARS. But if the willingness to forgive is there, it’s a good start.

    Someone helped me a lot with this when they pointed out that forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation. You can forgive someone totally unilaterally, but true reconciliation has to be a two-way effort. Thus you can still forgive someone even if the relationship is never what it once was. I think that’s OK, too. Thanks for being honest about this. I think many people have this problem, else there would be more peace in this world.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Julia,

      Thank you for your comment! I also have a good memory and that totally doesn’t help when having to let go. It’s so odd, but I even remember things that my extended family members have said to me when I was around 7 or 8 and it comes back to me sometimes. True, if you have a good memory, you can always remember good deeds or just nice people you have met in your life. That gives hope doesn’t it? Also,
      It just feels so good to look back on that and appreciate good people with good hearts.

      I agree that true reconciliation has to be a two way effort, this is so hard but so important if you really want to reconcile. I think sometimes people think I overreact. Sometimes it is hard to see why someone would do or say something so offensive or rude or just plain hurtful, but then again, we never know what people are going through, or how they perceived something or even if they even knew what they were doing that was so wrong.

      I try to be honest and am so happy about starting this blog because I can post my experiences, stories or situations without judgement. Also, it is so great to hear other people perspectives and their advice.

      I think that you have a really good grasp on this. I am so appreciative of your advice and experience. Thank you.

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  3. I have a really good memory but I don’t hold grudges. It helps me sleep better. The thing is, because I hardly forget, I just learn from my experience and it has helped me to mature. I have held some grudges but eventually let go because I realized it was doing me more harm than good.

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