After a couple of weeks of so much anxiety and my OCD just taking over to the extent that I couldn’t think anymore, I have decided to seek professional help again. I’ve seeked help before, however the therapists, psychiatrists and meds didn’t do much and so I gave up. The meds slowed me down and although I know technically that is what is supposed to happen in order for me to not freak out out easily, I hated it. I hated not caring and it made me feel so lazy. It made me feel like I didn’t want to change because having OCD and being a germaphobe was better than not caring and being unmoved by things that would trigger me normally.