I finally saw a therapist again. I had a lovely initial conversation with her on Tuesday and will be seeing her every Tuesday now. We will see how it goes, but I am finally feeling like I can improve my situation.

What is so interesting to me is how effective talking things through is. There really is nothing like going through the past few months in depth with a total stranger that makes you really put things into perspective. So much came out of me that day and it was only the initial appointment. As I have mentioned before, I have seen professionals two times before, but maybe I just wasn’t ready to change then. Maybe, it is all about timing and now is the time.

OCD is with me for life. I know that, but I am confident that I can make improvements and reduce my anxiety. My therapist is going to try a few things starting with CBT and Aversion Therapy. The thought of changing scares me, even though I know it is for the best. Does that sound weird? Sometimes,  I feel like if I do change, then something will be missing in me…

One more thing that was asked of me was, “If I didn’t have all these thoughts in my head, what would I be thinking?” I told her, “I don’t know, but wouldn’t it be amazing to have a clear head?” It has been so long since I have had a clear head. I could focus on so many other things…. wait.. the whole point is to have a clear head, right? No more overthinking, please!!!!

I’m going to do it, I know I am.          -Sunny

9 thoughts on “Change

  1. You can do this. Sometimes we really do need to change therapists. Maybe you weren’t ready yourself or there was no conexion with them. It happens. I’m trying CBT too for the first time and it’s been working for me. I’ve learned some priceless techniques to manage depression and anxiety and talking once a week with someone is just so meaningful to me because I live alone and a have a tendency to stay like it. All in all, it’s paying off. OCD mustn’t be easy and I wish you all the best. The treatment must help you and improve your quality of life. Xoxo


  2. I hope this works out for you and I’m happy that you shared this. Change is the only constant thing in life. I feel like you’ll not lose a part of yourself but instead discover yourself


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