So, a few months ago, my cousin convinced me to join online dating. I was super reluctant for the longest time, but I finally did. I am a home body, so there aren’t many opportunities for me to meet people, so I thought like-minded individuals who are also home bodies would be online.So, I joined Match.
It was a super interesting experience. There are SO many people online, and a lot will try to get your attention. I am quite shy and never make the first move, so I only talked to people that started a conversation. Anyways, so I talked to a few people on Match and I gave one guy my phone number after about a week of talking on Match.com. Boy, was that a mistake.
So, this guy loved dogs (WOHOOOOOO!… SOLD) and enjoyed watching American Football (very important from September to February. LOL). He told me he was also a home body and was looking for someone similar to him. So anyways, I gave him my number and things sort of when downhill from there.
There were red flags, including these:
- He said he chose his career simply because his parents told him to. He had absolutely no passion or desire to be in the job he was in, but since his parents chose it, he did it.
- He didn’t know what a non-profit organization was. I told him I mostly worked in that sector and he asked if employees get paid in that sector.
- I was going out one night for a friends birthday party and told him this when he asked what I was doing that night. I asked him what he was doing and replied with “I’m not doing anything because I have nobody to do anything with.”
Anyway,s, these were all kind of weird to me and I stopped talking to him when I felt a bit uncomfortable and didn’t feel like we were meshing. We hadn’t met at all at this point. I went out to dinner with my cousin, chatted about this guy and my experience with online dating. I came home and for some strange reason, I texted him. I’m sort of embarrassed but I think it was in desperation or simply because I was a little lonely. I kept thinking, well he likes the same things you do, he is just a bit weird. We are all weird in our own ways, right? I mean, I have OCD and am a germaphobe, and so who am I to judge?
Well, this was a mistake. A couple days after we started texting again, he asked me out in the rudest, most disrespectful way. He said he doesn’t want to text anymore and like his profile had mentioned, he didn’t like taking a long time before actually meeting someone. As a brown guy, he wanted to let me know that he hated when brown girls took too long to go out on a date. He is done texting, and would like to go out now……LOLLLLLL how fucking rude? Are you kidding me? That is how you ask a person out?
I could have gone off. I could have told him that he had just made a total biased opinion of me just because I was a brown girl. I could of told him he was an asshole for putting all brown girls in one pile and how judgmental he was being. I could of hold him that he was the one who needed to grow a pair of balls in the first place and ask me out. I could of told him that I wasn’t the one beating around the bush, and I had never said I didn’t want to go out and that he was acting like I had said I wanted to keep texting. I could have done it, but I didn’t. I just didn’t respond. I felt like there was no particular reason to get into an argument with someone I barely knew and had only been texting for a couple of weeks. I mean, was it really worth it? I should of just trusted my gut the first time and not have started texting him again.
Well, you will be surprised to know that this guy texted me everyday, once a day for three whole weeks. I never responded, but he kept texting. It was always the same type of texts to. “Sandeeeeeeeeep.” “Sandeeep’s Gayyyyyyyy| “Sandeeeeeeep’s a Loser” “SandeeeeeeepGilllllll” “Sandeeeeppppppppster” etc etc etc Literally, everyday, once a day for three weeks. WTF. Seriously? He was 30 years old and was acting like he was 4. Who has time to text someone like that? Why isn’t he getting the point and stopping? Why is he doing this?.
So, one night, I was doing something on my laptop and was super frustrated. I was trying to get tickets to a concert from Ticketmaster and upload them to someone I had sold them to because I wasn’t going to be able to go to the concert. Anyways, the website wasn’t working, I was pissed and then I saw my phone light up and it was him. I got SO angry, contained myself and finally texted back after three weeks, I simply texted back “Stop Texting Me.” He texted back, “Never.” I am not even lying to you when I say that when I saw the word “Never,” I went through every detail of our conversations to make sure I didn’t tell him too much. He better not be some random stalker who has chosen me to cyber stalk and then eventually actually stalk! This was the paranoia in me, I know. But, I had never experienced something like this. Usually if I am not interested, people get the point. I mean, it is pretty obvious, no?
Anyways, I first thought to call my cell phone provider and block his number. Then, I remembered that my phone and my dads phone were on the same bill. What if somehow he found out I had blocked a number and asked why? My dad would have lost his shit had he found out someone was texting me constantly like that. He would have asked for sure more about this guy to the point where I would have to tell him where he worked and he would have gone to his work to straighten things up…. No, No, No… I was not about to deal with that. My dad has a temper and that guy would have been a poor sucker had he gotten face to face with my dad.
Then, I did what I should have done in the first place. I googled how to get someone to stop calling you. Turns out, there is a “block this caller” button on IPhones! WHAT?!?!! Am I that clued out and old that I should the way you have to do it is call your cell phone provider. LOL I blocked his number and then realized how dumb I had been the past three weeks. It was a simple solution, but I just wasn’t aware of it. I then cancelled my match subscription after about a month, even though I had paid for three months.
Anyways, that is my short lived experience with online dating. I don’t think I would do it again, although I know people and people who I know, know people that have been in long relationships and have even gotten married to people they have met online, so I am sure it is great for some people. I am bit scarred from that experience, so I don’t really think it’s for me. For now, at least.